Squash and Me

I hate squash. My mother used to make me eat it and she even put butter or sugar on to help disguise its true, ugly nature. But of course it didn't. She even used the "it's good for you" line as mothers seem to do when all else fails.

So ever since those years the best use I can find for squash is to have zuccini for a bat to hit pitched acorn (or any yellow) squash. It gets messy but it's better than eating the darned stuff.

So the other day we discovered some growing near the lawn. I have no idea how the seeds got there, surely I hadn't done that . . . the huge leaves, the pretty yellow blossoms, the whole ugly works.

I naturally hoped it would die. I mean, how could this happen? We don't garden, we don't fertilize. Why me for heaven's sake?

But it kept growing. And growing. Pretty soon you could see those little squash-bodies under the blossoms. Kind of like the eggs in The Alien. They didn't pulse with dark fluids but they looked just like little alien squash babies.

So it came as a devastating surprise when the deer mowed it. I mean, I was shocked. Deer like squash?!?! Why didn't my mom tell me that and we could have prevented all those years of suffering?