Oxymorons

"Oxymoron" is something we can relate to more these days than in past decades. It means literally sharp ("oxys" from the Greek) and "moros" meaning foolish. Interestingly the dictionary says "more at MORON". A bad sign. Anyway, without getting too technical here it means two words or phrases that are contradictory as in the photo above.

There are many examples: jumbo shrimp, rolling stop, civil war, military intelligence, political integrity, and so on.

Well. I have an addition to suggest: technical support. "Support"??? Hah. I am certain each of you has experienced the thrill and pleasure of working with a 'support' person who neither understands English nor your problem. And this is after the fifteen minute "press three if . . . " endurance entry exam.

You see, they don't WANT you to call for help. That's why there are FAQ's, chat lines, and all sorts of "try this and that" to throw you off your determination. There really are no real people out there. All calls are routed to automatons programmed to respond to your frantic cries with "I am so sorry to hear that you are having problems with our magnificent product, how may I help you?"

But I digress.

It was HP this time and I really NEEDED this printer. I had already drilled through the troubleshooting maze on their website which concluded "you have faulty printheads" so I'm trying to order them. Reasonable, right?

Hah.

The dainty lady in India took :55 to run me through the same tests I had done myself with the excuse that she could not replace anything until these tests had been completed. So on we went, changing out the cartridges, cleaning them, aligning them, printing (the same) test patterns over and over. Finally, almost an hour later I get promoted to her supervisor who says . . . . yes . . . you need new printheads.

AAARRRGHHH!!!

PS: if we REALLY want to get nit-picky (how many of you know what THAT originally meant?....) the plural is oxymora. Which means lots of oxymorons. Which leads me into the discovery of the new element called govermentium on which I will expound later. Much later.